Yomper's right. I really should have answered my own questions. Or to quote him, it would be like 'just walking away with the Mardi Gras beads without paying for them'. So, my answers to my own questions...
1. What is your opinion of the spork?
The spork is the unholy union between the spoon and the fork. I find the fork part to be fairly useless, leaving you with a pointy demon spoon.
2. Gnomes: good or evil?
definitely evil. All of them. Even the Travelocity Gnome. You know he's plotting something. Look into his eyes, they're nothing but pure evil.
3. What do you think of your dodgeball playing experiences?
I have a hypothesis that one's dogeball enjoyment has an inverse relationship in proportion to one's schoolage geekiness. That said, I really dreaded every time we had to line up for dodgeball in gym class. Like Yomper, we played against a brick wall in graded school. We had a small school so the boys and girls had gym together until 8th grade. The only redeeming factor was that in highschool, the genders were separated, leaving me the largest person on the dodgeball wall with 8 years of frustration to get out of my system. But I'm not a violent person, really.
4. What mythical creature or fictional character do you fear most? (or would, if it existed)
Gnomes. Nothing but pure evil. And those flying monkeys from The Wizard of Oz.
5. Who would you bet on if the Teletubbbies have a Steel Cage match against the Tweenies with Barney the Dinosaur as a special guest referee?
My money's on the Teletubbies. They've got those things on top of their heads that can be used as weapons. And I don't think Barney would be able to call it a foreign weapon.