Thursday, November 03, 2005

Quotes taken out of context

One of my favorite mental exercises is to pervert things that people say. With the pirate crew, innuendo is second nature and conversations go into the gutter in about 3 sentences. It's easy to turn a conversation dirty. What's more fun is to take perfectly clean and serious quotes out of context and hear how dirty they sound. I've started keeping a notebook and am currently on the second volume.

The following were collected while I was supposed to be taking notes on a particular ventilator service school, but kept my ears open for some good quotes. Keep in mind that no sexual situations were implied.

This is a long one.
You hold it and I'll pull the handle.
This controls your pop off.
Stick your finger up there and pull it out.
A lot of guys will stick this in there.
There's a hole.
Let's go in there.
People have had some chances to touch it.
I'd like to show you the box.
I have played with it a lot.
Everything is flexible.
The sequence you want to use is up, down, and enter.

1 comment:

Yomper said...

Back in the early '90s I was partial to the sequence of smack it up, flip it, rub it down, enter.