Sunday, January 10, 2010

Unfamiliar Familiar

I don't know any of my extended family beyond my parents and sibblings. It makes me a little sad and jealous when I look around at other's large extended families to know that I don't have that, but it is what it is. I never knew exactly why my parents kept themselves isolated from their families; I just assumed there must have been some kind of falling out years ago.

My brother's wife has a very large, and very close, extended family. She recently tracked down my father's brother, my uncle. He was happy to hear some word about his astranged brother and is open to reconnecting with us kids.

I think I need to at least attempt this connection, but terrified to begin. What do I say? "Hi. I'm sorry your brother, my father, was a complete and utter douchebag his entire life. What have you been up to for the last 30 years?"

7 comments:

J said...

Well....I said Hi, My name is Jenny Rafuse...it reminded me of the spanish guy in The Princess Bride- except the "you killed my father, prepare to die" part. I think I might leave out the part about you dad, but asking what he has been up to the last 30 years....well you might want to ask for the cliff note version. That might take a while...He seems like a nice guy. We could even get together and you and James could use a speaker phone. Safety in Numbers! Luv Ya

Stillapill said...

You don't know me, but here is my totally unbiased opinion. You don't know if the falling out was your father's fault, your uncle's fault, or something totally different. Don't dwell on the why of the estrangement, but on the joy of the reconnection. Focus on your current lives and seek ways to make a connection and a stronger bond. If it feels right, follow up with more visits. Best of luck to you!

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