Phrases I Fear

There are certain phrases people say that set of red flags and warning bells in my head.

When someone utters the words "I know it's not politically correct..." I know that what immediately follows is going to be offensive.

Beginning your argument with "Everyone knows", "Some say", or "It is suggested" tells me that what's about to come out of your mouth is so crazy, I not only need a tinfoil hat to understand it, but also a whole tinfoil suit.

Thank You, Ladies

On August 26th, 1920, the 19th Amendment went into effect, giving women the right to vote in the United States. I think that it is amazing to think that less than 100 years ago, women did not have the right to vote in this country.

In 1878, following 4 days of testimony by Susan B. Anthony before Congress, a constitutional amendment was proposed that provided "The right of citizens to vote shall not be abridged by the United States or by any State on account of sex." This same amendment would be introduced in every session of Congress for the next 41 years, before finally passing in 1919.

After the passing in the 19th amendment, the long and arduous process of ratification by the states began. The amendment would need the the support of at least 36 states. By 1920, with a number of states adamantly opposed to the amendment, it all came down to Tennessee. It appeared that the amendment might fail by one vote in the Tennessee house, but twenty four year old Harry Burns surprised observers by casting the deciding vote for ratification. At the time of his vote, Burns had in his pocket a letter he had received from his mother urging him, "Don't forget to be a good boy" and "vote for suffrage."

The Equal Rights Amendment, which would eliminate any discrimination based on sex, was introduced in 1923. It finally passed in 1972, but was only ratified by 35 of the necessary 38 states.

Headline Fail

This is old, but still funny. An article in the LA Times from 1995 actually ran with this headline

It's not as bad as it seems. It turns out the councilwoman's name was actually Laura Chick. I wonder if any editors actually paused over that copy.

Another Reason Why I Loathe PETA

I like animals, I really do. And as a conscious carnivore, I understand where PETA is coming from. I just really abhor the way they go about spreading their message. It's like there's no filtering or editing at all when it comes to their PR department.

Let's see...we've had about a zillion versions of naked ladies in the 'I'd rather go naked then wear fur' ad campaign (never naked men, because we all know 'sex sells'), a banned Superbowl ad featuring naked ladies rubbing themselves with vegetables, naked ladies in cages, naked ladies wrapped in plastic (are you sensing a theme?), the relatively benign but ridiculous 'sea kittens', a Holocaust On Your Plate, an attempt to buy advertising on the border fence (the ad read "If the Border Patrol Doesn't Get You, the Chicken and Burgers Will — Go Vegan"), and, completing the racial insensitivity trifecta, dressing up in KKK costumes to protest a dog show. Oh, and, closer to home, we have the Ben and Jerry's breast milk debacle.

Now, PETA, in all it's wisdom, brings us this gem of a billboard in Jacksonville, FL.

I'll give you a minute to let the horror sink in.

It gets better. From PETA's press release:

“Trying to hide your thunder thighs and balloon belly is no day at the beach,” says PETA Executive Vice President Tracy Reiman. “PETA has a free ‘Vegetarian Starter Kit’ for people who want to lose pounds while eating as much as they like.

Seriously. I don't have a lot of coherent thoughts about this, but I'll try. If I saw that ad, especially if I was on my way to the beach, I'd probably burst into tears. It's one thing to say 'maybe a lot of Americans should consider a healthier vegetarian diet as an alternative to consuming so much unhealthy industrial meat' and quite another thing to say 'fat people are whales!' My brother couldn't understand why when we spent the day at a water park, I walked around with my beach towel firmly wrapped around my waist as soon as I got out of the water. I'm mostly OK with my large body these days, but there is still the tormented, insecure, fat child inside of me that takes crap like this too personally.

So, yeah. Not only does vegetarian = thin and thin = healthy, but apparently, as long as it's vegetarian, you can eat anything you want and still be model thin. Deceiver compiled a wonderful list of vegetarian and vegan foods that definitely won't make you fat. Vegan options include french fries, onion rings, samosas, soy venti frappuccinos, soda, and beer. Non-vegan vegetarian options include ice cream, cupcakes, Twinkies, pizza (I've had some vegan pizza, so this could go on the vegan list, too), funnel cake, potato skins, nachos, and fettuccine alfredo.

Now, I understand that PETA deliberately makes these ads to 'create controversy' (good lord, I hate that phrase). It's always been an ends justify the means method of advertising with them. Their antics make people really dislike them, including most of the vegetarians/vegans that I know. It turns people off from animal rights and lumps animal rights activists in with these crazy but very vocal people.

I even feel some pangs of guilt just mentioning their ads, as it only gives them the attention that they want. You know, the whole all press is good press thing. It's a loosing situation, though, because if you talk about it, you're giving them what they want, but if you just ignore them, than you're giving them a pass on all the BS they produce in an attempt to garner attention.

The conspiracy theorist in me thinks that PETA might really be a front for the American Meat Institute or something. Nothing, and I mean nothing, makes people want to go out and eat a couple pounds of hamburger as much as PETA does. Or maybe that's just me.

UPDATE: I've been informed that I actually used the term 'animal rights' inappropriately. The definition of animal rights from Wikipedia:

Animal rights, also referred to as animal liberation, is the idea that the most basic interests of animals should be afforded the same consideration as the similar interests of human beings. Advocates approach the issue from different philosophical positions but agree that animals should be viewed as legal persons and members of the moral community, not property, and that they should not be used as food, clothing, research subjects, or entertainment.

The term I should have been using is 'animal welfare'. Animal welfare deals with improving the lives of animals, including things like supporting no-kill shelters and humane farming. Here is the definition of animal welfare, also from Wikipedia.

Animal welfare refers to the viewpoint that it is morally acceptable for humans to use nonhuman animals for food, in animal research, as clothing, and in entertainment, so long as unnecessary suffering is avoided. The position is contrasted with the animal rights position, which holds that other animals should not be used by, or regarded as the property of, humans.

Regina Benjamin or Why 'You're Ugly' Is Not A Political Argument

Regina Benjamin has been nominated by Barack Obama for Surgeon General. This is going to be a really important role to fill, given the current climate in health care and the expected surgence of the H1N1, or swine flu, virus next fall.

By all accounts, she is highly qualified to hold this post. She is a primary care physician, serving a population with a high poverty rate and little to no insurance that often cannot pay. She has gone without a paycheck in order to keep her health clinic running. A New York Times article states that she is owed about $300,000 in back salary. She is the first black woman to sit on the board of directors of the American Medical Association, and she is the first black woman to lead a state medical society, serving as president of the Alabama Medical Association.

So what's the problem? Regina is a bit heftier than some people would like. The argument against her is that, because she would be the figure head American health care, she needs to be the picture of perfect health. The logic then follows that since she is overweight, she is somehow promoting obesity and that she couldn't possibly do a good job as Surgeon General.

So what we have is a highly qualified primary care physician who also holds an MBA in business administration, has sat on the board of directors of the American Medical Association, has led the medical association for her home state of Alabama, and has dedicated her career to providing care for a low income/no insurance population. And the only thing people can talk about is her weight?

I will admit, as a woman, and especially as a fat woman myself, the attacks on Benjamin hit pretty close to home and I took this story more personally then I would otherwise. Bloggers and mainstream news shows speculated about her weight and dress size. It turned into some kind of carnival guess your weight game.

Here, Fox News interviews a douchebag in a 'No Chubbies' T-shirt about why Benjamin's weight is an issue at all.



Various analyses go on to speculate all kinds of things about overweight people. They're lazy. They have no self control. They don't take responsibility for their actions. They're unhealthy. They're somehow "promoting obesity" and won't someone please think of the children. Following that logic to its conclusion, should fat people be barred from any professional job, lest they be a poor role model for others, or should they only be barred from working in health care? On a similar note, would an overweight waitress be a bad thing, because it might send the message that it's ok to overeat?

It's insane. Yes, being overweight does put one at a higher risk for certain health problems - heart disease and diabetes to name a few. As a medical doctor, Regina Benjamin is well aware of the health risks of being overweight. It's impossible to tell from a picture exactly how healthy a person is. Benjamin is certainly a bit heavy, but I wouldn't call her obese. She looks healthy, but then again, you can't tell the state of her health from a picture. As for rest, with as many accomplishments as Dr. Benjamin has, she clearly isn't lazy.

As for providing a poor example of health, I think that she could be an excellent example. For instance, and this is just speculation, if she were to stand up there and say 'I struggle with my weight, too, but one of the cornerstones of being health is to eat a healthy, balanced diet and get plenty of exercise' I think that would be a wonderful role model. It's not a huge secret that eating less crap and moving around more is healthier for you.

Since these vicious news stories have started swirling around about Regina Benjamin, I have been thinking about the kind of bodily scrutiny female politicians are subject to and it's kind of coalesced some thoughts I've had for a while. Even though I am told that sexism doesn't exist anymore, there is still this intangible feeling that women in power get picked apart based on their physical appearance much, much more so than their male counterparts.

Hilary Clinton? Ice queen, fat ankles, old lady, pant suits. She couldn't win. If she wore a skirt, she had cankles. If she wore a pant suit, she was matronly. When she tried to wear a pant suit that wasn't deemed matronly, she was called vulgar. There was no winning. And let's not forget rumors that she and Bill are together for political reasons only, they have a loveless marriage, and she's really a lesbian. Oh, yeah, and she's a ball buster, too.

Remember this?
Chelsea Clinton, just 13 when her father became president, was constantly called ugly. Rush Limbaugh once quipped on his short lived tv show about the White House dog, holding up a picture of Chelsea.

Janet Reno, another Clinton era public figure, was not spared either. Our first female Attorney General was a large woman, being both taller and broader than the average woman. She was constantly called 'manish'. During her confirmation hearings, rumors started flying about her being a lesbian and using call girls, along with drunk driving. Reno denied the rumors and an FBI investigation found nothing to substantiate them, but the lesbian/transsexual rumors continued.

John McCain famously managed to tie all three of the above together as a tasteless joke he told at 1998 Republican fundraiser. "Why is Chelsea Clinton so ugly? Because her father is Janet Reno." Just count the many, many ways that joke is wrong, without ever being actually funny. Got your check list out? Good. Let's see...picking on the physical appearance of Chelsea Clinton? Check. Janet Reno is really a man? Check. Hillary Clinton is a lesbian? You got it. Sigh.

It's not just woman on the left. Women on the right haven't fared much better. Ann Coulter, a far right pundit, is often called 'Mann Coulter'. Now, I personally loathe her hate filled work, but calling her 'Mann' is just fighting dirty. First, the insult infers that the most important thing about her is her physical appearance, then it throws in a heaping helping of homophobia. Come on, there are plenty of reasons to not like what Ann Coulter has to say. Her appearance is not one of them.

Being considered attractive leads to the same kind of scrutiny and is just the flip side of the 'you're ugly' coin. 'We still don't want to listen to what you have to say, but we do want to look at you'.

Condoleeza Rice, Secretary of State under George W. Bush, was viewed as a strong, sexy, dominatrix. Sarah Palin, a former beauty queen, was often referred to as 'Caribou Barbie'. There was plenty of 'sexy librarian' references and, to top it all off, Hustler released a porno titled "Who's Nailin' Paylin?", featuring a Sarah Palin lookalike (I'm not linking to the porn, you're going to have to find that one yourself). Again, women in high profile political careers reduced to their physical appearance.

I think a good part of my frustration is that so many people refuse to believe that women are treated differently than men. I challenge anyone to find me an example of a male politician that has gone through as much scrutiny of the physical appearance as these women have. And I don't mean an article here or there on the cost of their haircut (although it does say something about our society that men are not supposed to spend money on their appearance). George W. Bush was accused of a lot of things from deception to incompetence, but his physical appearance was never brought into the fray, one way or the other. Bill Clinton was impeached for lying under oath about his affair with Monica Lewinski, but it was Monica's appearance that was talked about.

There is no winning for women in politics. Either you are too ugly or just another pretty face. Women are told one of two things. Either 'shut up, you ugly bitch', or 'shut up and let me ogle you.' To not agree with someone's politics is one thing, but to just throw out 'you're ugly' is not an argument. It's intellectually lazy and it's something I would expect to hear on a grade school playground.

This Is What I Have To Put Up With

I am one of two people in my organization trained to do anesthesia machine maintenance. There are 26 hospitals in our 3 state region. Every 4 months we do scheduled maintenance on all of the machines. All of this means that there is an awful lot of traveling involved. Basically, 3 times a year I and another tech spend about a month on the road. We alternate weeks so that we're each gone for a week at a time, as opposed to a whole month.

The logistics of traveling to each site means that we need to be portable enough to load things easily in and out of a vehicle. The method that works well is to have 3 hard case tool boxes (they look like small suitcases), one each for test equipment, hand tools, and spare parts, loaded on a foldable rolling cart. I have become the keeper of the anesthesia tool kit. We're tight on space, so we have to be careful when packing things up. It's a bit like playing Tetris to get everything to fit, but if you put it all back neatly, you can easily access everything you need on a regular basis.

I share this tool kit with another tech. I do not know what he does when he's on site, but everytime the anesthesia kit comes back, it's a complete disaster area. I just picture him throwing things around the operating room like the Swedish Chef making a meal.

I talked with the tech the other day about putting things back neatly, especially the hand tools. The tools in question happen to be my own personal tools, and I get a little pissy when they walk away. Now, I asked nicely; I didn't chew him out or anything. I understand that it's late when he's done and he wants to go home, but asked him to please put everything back neatly, including any manuals he might take with him.

So, he says he'll put everything back in it's place when he's done and I send him off to do a repair. The next day, I walk into my office to find this.

Methinks he's messing with me. What you don't see in this picture is that the cart is also in the middle of my office, as opposed to the 3 feet to the right where it fits neatly out of the way against the wall by the cabinet.

One Week and Counting

In exactly one week, I will be having my eyes burned out with laser beams, or, you know, having Lasik surgery. It will be pretty sweet to be able to role over in bed, look at the alarm clock, and actually be able to read the numbers without squinting.

I've decided that since the whol procedure sounds like the plot to a James Bond movie, when they strap me to the table and point the laser at my head, I'm going to have to ask just what their evil plan is.

Creeptastic Revelation of the Day

Alternate title: No, I Don't Want To Be Your Friend

Back when I had a MySpace account, one of my sister's ex-boyfriends tried to contact me. At the time, I thought it was a little weird, but didn't think too much of it. He had apparently tried to contact her as well, but she wanted none of it; the relationship ended very badly years ago. Also, she is quite happily married now.

I was a little surprised to see that the guy found me on Facebook and tried to contact me. No, dude, I don't want to be your friend. I never knew you very well to begin with. You dated my sister when I was twelve. We don't have old times to rehash. I'm not going to pass on any messages from you to the Sis, who wants nothing to do with you. What could we possibly talk about?

Mind the Gap

Well, my quest to be kind to my body and not eat so much crap is starting to pay off. I noticed this morning when I got out of the shower that the towel wraps all the way around me. Yay! No more towel gap.

Ironically, I think I actually consuming more food throughout the day than I did previously. Before, my crappy eating habits led me to eat various crap snacks (like chips and other over processed stuff) and just one real meal a day, so that by the time I got around to eating dinner, I was ravenously hungry. This led me to eat huge amounts of food before bed. Now I'm eating a bowl of cereal in the morning, a small mid morning snack (which I've dubbed my 10am banana), a reasonably healthy lunch, a fairly healthy dinner that I'm still over-portioning, and some kind of sweet dessert at night. Cupcakes are still my downfall, in all their sugary frosting goodness.

Now, if I could just get the hang of that whole moving around more thing. There's just not enough hours in the day. I need to work on not making excuses and just make room in my schedule for a trip to the gym.

It's nice to see some actual results from making healthier choices. I'll resist the urge to celebrate with a cake.

One Small Step

On July 20, 1969, the Apollo 11 successfully touched down on the surface of the moon and the world watched as Neil Armstrong became the first man to walk on the moon. It remains one of our greatest technological achievements.

In honor of the 40th anniversary of the lunar landing, here is some footage from the event. The other astronaut seen in the video is Buzz Aldrin, lunar module pilot. Michael Collins was the third member of the crew and served as the command module pilot. He remained in orbit as Armstrong and Aldrin became the first humans to land on the moon.

Practice Safe Text

As I mentioned before, I'm trying the online dating thing. So far, it's not working very well. Prior to setting up my account, I sat down with a friend and we came up with a list of things that we need to have in our next relationships. You know, picky things like the guy needs to have a career and stuff like that.

So, after a little bit of the online dating thing, I'm going to add the ability to use proper grammar, capitalization, and punctuation. I never thought to add that quality before. Don't get me wrong, you don't need to be 100% correct all of the time (we all know that I'm not), but please at least make the effort.

Online dating is weird to begin with. The impression that you leave on the other person is left by the words that you type. For me, it's grating on my nerves and a huge turn off if your entire message is in all lower case, all capitals, or, even worse, contains RANDOM capitalization. Gah!

The Definition of Irony

Seen today: a late 70's Ford Pinto with flames airbrushed down the sides. How's that for irony?

25 Random Things

There's been this thing going around Facebook for awhile where you list off 25 random things about yourself. My thought is why waste this on Facebook, when it will make a perfectly good blog post, where the entire world can read it.


And so, I give to you 25 random things you may or may not have known about me.

1. I have long hair but I always wear it up.
2. I absolutely love garlic. Almost too much, sometimes.
3. My record for moving is 6 times in an 18 month span. I do not want to ever repeat that.
4. I am not a big fan of onions, but I do like onion dip, onion bagels, leeks, scallions, chives, and other onion like vegetables, and Funyuns.
5. My favorite snack is cheese and crackers.
6. My favorite cheese is brie.
7. By the time I finished all of the requirements for my engineering degree, I was one class short of a math minor, but I just couldn't bring myself to take linear algebra.
8. While I was in college, my engineering friends would often accuse me of having serious liberal arts tendencies.
9. I like music, but I am a horrible dancer.
10. I can't stand discord in music.
11. I will like almost any song in a minor key.
12. I spent a big chunk of change on a memory foam bed and think it's one of the best investments that I have ever made.
13. I shop at farmer's markets
14. I try to support local businesses, but still find myself shopping at Walmart and other box stores.
15. I will not date any guy who wears Axe body spray.
16. I understand where PETA's coming from, but I abhor their advertising campaign.
17. I am not fond of spiders.
18. I like words and think that some just sound awesome. Panorama is very fun to say and I wish I could work it into more conversations.
19. I consider myself a feminist. I don't think that feminist is a dirty word.
20. I have voted for the Democratic candidate in every presidential election I have voted in.
21. I love kitty cats but currently do not have one due to apartment living.
22. I enjoy cooking and think that there is something cathartic about chopping vegetables.
23. I am a big fan of tea, especially Chinese greens.
24. I've recently come to terms with the color pink. Girls get pink overload growing up and I've never been terribly 'girly'. But it is a fact that pink looks better than white on people with pale skin.
25. I rarely get sick. I think it comes from spending my working life in hospitals.

Non-Readers

I'm beginning to come across more and more people who are 'proud non-readers'. These are people who read as little as possible and are proud of that fact. They'll say things like 'I haven't read a book since highschool!, usually while wearing a very large grin. I generally want to smack these people with a paperback.

I don't get the attitude. It's one thing to not enjoy reading; everyone has different interests and what I enjoy may not necesarily be what someone else enjoys. I don't see why someone would be proud to not read. I don't really enjoy, say, watching Nascar, but I don't consider myself a proud non-Nascar watcher.

Kanye West, ironically in an interview about the release of his new book, said the most assinine thing.

"Sometimes people write novels and they just be so wordy and so self-absorbed. I am not a fan of books. I would never want a book's autograph."

Really? Because I would totally want a book's autograph. That would be so cool, since books are inanimate objects and can't, you know, sign things. I bet a book's autograph would totally be worth more than, say, Kanye West's autograph on eBay. Also, I'm pretty sure books are supposed to be wordy. That's kind of the point.

So what is this masterpiece non-wordy, non-self absorbed literature that Mr. West has produced? It's called Thank You and You're Welcome and is currently selling on Amazon for 8 bucks (Read the reviews. They're priceless). Basically it's a 52 page spiral bound book with Kanye's 'words of wisdom'.

I haven't actually read the book, but from reading online accounts, I'm not missing much. Most of the pages contain a few words or a sentence, some pages are blank (WTF? Blank pages in the middle of the book?), and one two page section contains only "Life is 5% what happens and 95% how you react!", which just sounds to me like a slight modification to the old inspiration vs perspiration saying.

Nope. Definately not wordy. Or terribly meaningful. Does anyone else find it ironic and sad that this guy makes a living as a supposed word-smith in the hip hop word? The best part? For this intricate piece of literature, Kanye needed a ghost writer. Check out the cover. 'Kanye West presents Thank You and You're Welcome with J. Sakiya Sandifer'.

Ugh. His whole attitude makes me cringe and weep for future generations. After reading the interview, the only thing I could think of was a scene in Idiocracy. "Why you keep trying to read that word for? Are you a fag?"

Freakin' Laser Beams

Well, guys, it's official. As of July 7, I will no longer be wearing glasses. Whoo hoo! I just got the all clear from the retina specialist and scheduled my LASIK surgery yesterday. I am very excited about being drugged up, tied down, and having laser beams shot at me. OK, I'm not really excited about that part, but I am excited to not have to wear glasses or contacts anymore.

Update: Bah! It turns out that there will be no one to cover for me at work in July, so I had to push the Lasik back until August.

Linguam Latinam Dico Similis Romano Antiquo

Well, not really. But I did manage to get a perfect grade on the midterm for my elementary Latin class. Lets see if I can keep it up. Just two more weeks to go.

Phew!

I must be some kind of masochist, or something, because I am once again subjecting myself to an abbreviated summer course. It's basically an entire semester crammed into 4 weeks. It's brutal. This time around, I'm taking Latin. None of the classes I need for my masters are offered for the summer session, or the fall semester, for that matter. I figure the Latin will help with medical terminology. And because I like words. And because things sound cooler and philosophical when said in Latin.

It took nearly 6 hours (with a small break for dinner and an episode of Next Gen, so more like 5), but as of right now, I'm all caught up on my homework and I just submitted my midterm exam. Phew! Now I just need to take out the recycling and then collapse in bed, so I can get up tomorrow and do it again.

This Makes Me Glad I Bought a HP

I recently bought a new computer. Looking at was available in commercially available systems (I'm not up to the tech level of actually building my own system), my final choice came down to Dell or HP. I ended up going with the HP, mainly because of the price; a similarly configured Dell system ended up being a few hundred bucks more. Plus, HP had better tech support in the pre-purchase phase. I called several times with technical questions, since I was planning on replacing the stock video card.

Why do I bring this up? Before moving on, I wanted to point out that, even as a woman, when shopping for a computer, I take into account what I'll be using it for, the actual technical specifications, and price. I'd imagine that most people do, too.

With that said, computers, and technology products in general, have always been seen as guy things. Dell has launched a new site to try to cater to women, called Della. Seriously, they added an 'a' to the end of the name to make it feminine. The site is just insulting.

First, there is the overlying reference to all things cute. Because we all know that women would buy laptops by the dozen if only they were cuter. This isn't to say that buying a colored laptop is bad; it's, not. Although I'm more of a black and chrome kind of girl myself, I can see how others would like a pink or yellow computer. And some of the overlays really are cool looking. That's not the point, though.

The website has a weird June Cleaver meets Paris Hilton kind of vibe, as noted by Liliputing. The site is filled of pictures of women sitting in fields or surrounded by friends, all wearing outfits strangely color matched to their laptop. The best part is the Tech Tips, where you'll find an array of ways the netbook can improve your life, including tracking your diet, managing your exercise program, finding recipes, and shopping. Yep. It makes me wonder if anyone at Dell has actually talked to a woman.

There is also the assumption that women will only buy a laptop. Strike that, not quite a laptop, a netbook. While the netbook has its place (I'm actually considering getting one for convenience while traveling), why not other products? Are full size laptops too bulky for our quivering girl arms? Are desk tops to scary and testosterone filled for us to understand with our lady brains?

Compare the Della site with the netbook page on the actual Dell site. While it still has the design/choose a color aspect, it also offers much more information about the product. The Dell site has detailed technical specifications and a product comparison. The Della site has accessories.

I get the point of trying to market to people who aren't tech savvy. I also get the point of trying to market to women who might be intimidated by technology. Online tech forums are vicious towards women. I've seen women get ganged up on and basically called a stupid bitch for the crime of asking a question. Which is odd, since isn't that kind of the point of a tech forum? Men, or at least those with masculine screen names, are generally not subjected to that treatment. So, yeah, I can see how women would want a safe space and some women friendly advertising, and how Dell would want to market that.

The execution falls short. Dell manages to offend their female costumers. Even if we're not tech savvy, we're not stupid. Simultaneously, Dell also pigeon holes the netbook as chick tech, which also means that it's too feminine for guys to use. Wouldn't that cut off about half of their customer base?

Advertisement fail.

At Least I won't Get Scurvy

I've been trying to be good to my body. Even though I've started drinking caffeine again, I'm keeping it at a minimum. Lately I've been on a water with lemon kick; just a little lemon juice in my water to give it a kick. This morning I was very heavy handed with the lemon juice. The end of my water bottle is making me pucker up a bit. At least I won't get scurvy. Arr!

Spam, Spam, Spam, and More Spam

Sometimes, the subject lines in spam messages are really amusing. For example, a little while ago spammers were using random word generators to create their subject lines and get around the current filters. These always brought a smile to my face, because they were always the strangest combination of random words just crammed together. I would see something like 'Banana elephant umbrella bridge' pop up in my inbox.

And of course, there were the badly phrased euphemisms, usually for "male enhancement products". My favorites so far: 'Enhance you love weasel!' and 'Make a pyramid in your pants!'. I won't get into a discussion about what this will do to the fit of your slacks, or the inference to a sarcophagus.

Today's spam message of the day is "Your bedroom doesn't smell like intimacy anymore?" Well, no, actually it doesn't, and I kind of like it that way. I'll admit that my bedroom doesn't see a lot of 'intimacy' to begin with, but even if it did, I wouldn't want the room to smell like it did. I mean, I do wash the sheets every so often.

I won't be clicking on whatever link is included, but I think it would be hilarious if this particular piece of spam was advertising scented candles or air freshener.