Cool, I Have Fans!

It's been a while since I've paid attention to my blog; almost a year, infact. I'm really glad I decided I needed to get back into blogging, because random people have actually found me. Yay!

Most excitedly, I had a commenter looking for costuming help for a Manos robe. How cool is that? She apparently found my post from last Halloween by doing a Google search for Manos Robe. I tested it out and found to my pleasent surprise that I am listed third in Google for this particular search. Hmmm...how to get to number 1? If I'm going to be listed first in any search engine, I might as well be the go to place for Manos: The Hands of Fate costuming.

Of course I'll help with the costume. I think everyone should have their own Manos robe. Instead of the zombie walk, we can have the Manos walk. Or, even better, a Million Manos March! Isn't that a wonderful image? The Master will be served!

What Dreams May Come

Yeah, yeah, I know the theory. Dreams are your subconscious mind's way of expressing itself. I'll admit, I've always been fascinated by dream interpretation and the symbolism found in your dreams. I've never understood it, though, mainly because my dreams tend to be so
messed up that traditional symbolism doesn't really fit. Instead of flying or falling, my dreams have me being chased by sentient, toothy, and presumably carnivorous lawn chairs. That last statement is not an exageration, by the way. I actually had that dream at one point. I've remembered it all these years because it was just so messed up.

As a side note, I've also considered the fact that my dreams tend toward the Terry Gilliam and David Lynch side of the spectrum of strange to be a sign that I should never, ever drop acid.

It's important to note that I am a world class worrier, having inherited that trait from my mother. I shouldn't be too surprised that my latest string of dreams has my subconscious telling me that I'm going to fail at everything I try to do. It's just not helpful.

In the past couple of weeks, I have dreamt that I failed an important exam that in reality I am still awaiting the results, my apartment building burned down, I lost my job, I crashed my car, and my boyfriend dies. That last one truely freaked me out. Shut up, subconscious. You are not being helpful. I can worry on my own. Things are good right now. Deal with it.

Over the weekend, I had a dream that my boss and his family for what ever reason dropped by my house. Like an episode of the Honeymooners, everything that could go wrong did. It ended with said boss trying to leave and not being able to find his shoes. The parting shot I had before I woke up is my boss walking away in 2 random mismatched shoes of mine. To this I say, what the hell, subconscious?

One of these days, I think I would like to go to one of those dream interpreters, just to see what they say. I suspect that with my dreams, I may be accused of making stuff up.

A Modest Proposal

This story has been going around the internet for a little bit. Basically, an Iranian cleric, Hojatoleslam Kazem Sedighi, blamed a loss of morals and immodestly dressed women for causing earthquakes. As a small aside, this is not the first time a religious leader has blamed a natural disaster on society's loss of morals.

A woman on Facebook decided to test his theory. This got quickly out of hand, and her Boobquake Facebook event now has over 40,000 attendees.

With all of that said, I think this is a wonderful idea. In fact, I say we put the Boobquake Hypothesis through a proper scientific experiment. We can put the question of immodestly dressed women causing seismic activity to the test. With the proper experimetnal set up, I think we might even be able to get USGS funding for our research.

Unfortunately, Sedighi was a little short on information in exactly what was considered an immodesty induced quake. For example, how long of a lead time is needed for a boobquake or whether or not the epicenter would be centered in the vicinity of the cleavage. Like the flapping of a butterfly's wings causing a hurricane on the other side of the world, could scantily clad American woman be responsible for last weekend's earthquake in China? To control for this cleavage effect, I propose collecting global seismic activity for a month between experimental groups.

I suggest 3 data groups, a control group and 2 experimental groups. First, the control. That should be fairly easy; just dress normally. This will give us our starting baseline.

Now we're ready for our experimental groups. Let's take the modestly dressed group first. In order to provide proper skin coverage, I'm thinking proper Victorian dress with long sleeves, high collared shirts and about 10 petty coats. On second thought, perhaps we should all just wear loose fitting sweat suits, to kill any sexiness or fetish factor.

Next up is the real test, immodestly dressed ladies. Everyone break out your club wear. Short skirts and boob shirts for everyone. Maybe some pvc catsuits for variety. Groups such as FEMA and the Red Cross should be notified and standing by during this part of the experiment, in order to provide emergency response to areas hit by the quakes.

And just to cover all of our bases, we should throw in some experimental groups to test the guys, too. After all, all these earthquakes might actually be the result of Taylor Lautner's exposed pectorals.

Unfamiliar Familiar

I don't know any of my extended family beyond my parents and sibblings. It makes me a little sad and jealous when I look around at other's large extended families to know that I don't have that, but it is what it is. I never knew exactly why my parents kept themselves isolated from their families; I just assumed there must have been some kind of falling out years ago.

My brother's wife has a very large, and very close, extended family. She recently tracked down my father's brother, my uncle. He was happy to hear some word about his astranged brother and is open to reconnecting with us kids.

I think I need to at least attempt this connection, but terrified to begin. What do I say? "Hi. I'm sorry your brother, my father, was a complete and utter douchebag his entire life. What have you been up to for the last 30 years?"

A Song A Day

Well, it's been a while since I last posted here. I recently found out that people actually read this thing, so I guess I should put up some new content. And because I'm much too lazy at the moment to write anything more involved, here's a post inspired by my recent Facebook antics.

I thought it would be fun to post a song lyric for every day of the week. This is an idea I stole from my roommate, who was tinkering with the idea of having a seperate ring tone for each day of the week. I limited the selection to songs with the day in the title, so while "easy like Sunday morning" is a great lyric, the actual name of the song is just "Easy" and wouldn't work. It was a lot of fun picking out a song for each day and was neat to see which days had more songs associated with them. I think Monday had the most songs, followed closely by Tuesday. Wednesday surprised me with a wider selection than I initially thought.

And so, I give you my list of a song a day. I'd be interested in seeing your lists in the comments.

Monday - Rainy Days and Mondays - The Carpenters
"Nothing to do but frown. Rainy days and Mondays always get me down."

Monday probably had the widest variety to choose from. Runners up include Manic Monday by The Bangles, I Don't Like Mondays by The Boomtown Rats, and New Moon On Monday by Duran Duran.

Tuesday - Ruby Tuesday - Rolling Stones
"Goodbye, Ruby Tuesday. Who could hang a name on you?"

Tuesday is another day with lots to choose from. Runners up include Tuesday's Gone by Lynyrd Skynyrd and Tuesday Afternoon by The Moody Blues.

Wednesday - Waiting for Wednesday - Lisa Loeb
"I'm waiting for Wednesday to show you goodbye. I don't want to be here, to show you goodbye."

My other options were Wednesday Morning, 3AM, by Simon and Garfunkle and Wednesday Week by Elvis Costello.

Thursday - Thursday's Child - David Bowie
"Throw me tomorrow. Only for you I don't regret that I was Thursday's child."

There's not a lot to work with here. The only other song I could think of was Thursday Afternoon by Henry Rollins and I wasn't feeling that screamy.

Friday - Friday I'm in Love - The Cure
"I don't care if Monday's Blue, Tuesday's grey, and Wednesday, too. Thursday I don't care about you. It's Friday, I'm in love."

Runner up: Good Mourning/Black Friday by Megadeath. Again, I just wasn't feeling that angry.

Saturday - Saturday Night's Alright (For Fighting) - Elton John
"Cause Saturday night's the night I like. Saturday night's alright, alright, alright"

Plenty to choose from here. Runners up include Saturday Night Special by Lynyrd Synyrd and Another Saturday Night by Jimmy Buffet. Note that the terrible S-A-T-U-R-D-A-Y night! song by The Bay City Rollers isn't on here, because, well, because it's terrible. And obnoxious.

Sunday - Sunday, Monday or Always - Bing Crosby
"If you're satisfied I'll be at your side, Sunday, Monday, or always"

Runners up include Sunday Bloody Sunday by U2, Beautiful Sunday by Ted Nugent, and Gloomy Sunday, supposedly one of the most depressing songs in the world. There's been about a bazillion covers, but I like the Billie Holiday version.

And there you have it, my week in song. I'd love to see your lists in the comments.

Manos: The Hands of Fate

There is going to be a geek-tastic Halloween this year. After watching the MST3K episode featuring "Manos" The Hands of Fate (The gratuitous quotation marks are in the title. Seriously.), BlueMule commissioned me to create for him his very own Manos robe.

Here's the inspiration picture.

And here's my version, done in polar fleece. It should keep him nice and warm while taking the boy trick or treating.

The Apple Of My Eye

How does everyone feel about a gratuitous baby post? My niece is nearly 10 months old and is possibly the cutest kid on the planet. She recently learned how to say "hi". Ain't she sweet?